Crying on Mute - (PRE_SALE Only)

by Zakia Benyard

In this poignant and powerful memoir, Zakia Benyard invites readers into her complex childhood in Newark's West Ward, where her mother's guiding philosophy—"You can live in the hood, but don't let the hood live in you!"—shaped every aspect of her upbringing.

As the mother of a son with autism, Benyard reflects on her own youth with newfound perspective, recalling how her parents' determination to provide educational opportunities and cultural enrichment set her family apart in their community. Her days were structured around African dance, theatrical performances, open mic nights, and mentorship from community leaders—all strategic efforts by her mother to keep her safe from the neighborhood's potential dangers.

Yet despite these advantages, Benyard struggled to find acceptance among her peers. Her family's relative affluence and her father's prominent position in the community created a painful divide between her and the neighborhood children. As her father's trusted confidante during his political campaigns, she often found herself paraded through town in his new Cadillac—a display of success that only widened the gap between her and her peers.

"Crying on Mute" explores the emotional complexity of straddling two worlds: the privileged existence her parents fought to create and the reality of the community where they chose to remain rooted. With unflinching honesty, Benyard examines how class differences within Black communities create invisible barriers, and how a child navigates the confusing space of being both privileged and marginalized.

This memoir is a resonant examination of belonging, identity, and the unseen emotional toll of social mobility within marginalized communities—a story about finding one's voice when caught between worlds.